A conversation I am often having with some of my closest friends is around the topic of whether we should care about what people think or not. Often times, we come to the same conclusion, but it always intrigues me how often individuals today do genuinely give too many fucks about what others think of them.
What really got me going with this concept is of course, the one and only book, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” by Mark Manson. I’m sure 99% of you have heard of the book or have seen the bright orange cover somewhere.
I want to be as concise as possible, so I’ll narrow down the top 3 reasons why I personally don’t care about what people think of me (not in a reckless way, but in a…you’re not affecting my life kind of way).
*People will always find a reason to judge, criticize, and ridicule you…SO WHY CARE?
It’s like, since they are going to do it anyway–no matter whether you’re doing something good or bad, why should you let it affect you? I mean seriously, ask yourself! No matter what you do, people will create their own judgement. And you can’t control it, no matter how bad you want to. So…is it worth putting the energy in? When you could be focusing it on something that YOU CAN actually change/control?
*I don’t like being controlled by other people
It’s funny to me because I don’t think people realize, that when you let other people’s opinion affect you and inadvertently control how you act, think, and behave–you’re a fucking slave to them. And before you get angry about that, I mean again…think about it. Someone created judgement about what you did or were going to do and then suddenly you changed your mind (low-key because you didn’t want to be judged)…you do realize they just indirectly controlled that thought process and final outcome, right? Is that how you want to live the rest of your life?
*But like, SO WHAT?
And at the end of the day, SO WHAT if they think your hair is tacky or if you’re a loser. SO WHAT if Susie thinks you’re a bitch–like give me a legitimate reason as to why it matters. Because at the end of the day, WHAT YOU THINK OF YOURSELF MATTERS MUCH MORE THAN WHAT SUSIE AND ANY OTHER PERSON THINKS OF YOU. If you are confident in who you are and your own character, then OWN THAT. Don’t own the opinions of others, who clearly have nothing better going for themselves either if they take the 30 seconds to 5 minutes out of their day to talk shit about you or create judgements about you. It’s a HA HA to them because you’re probably actually doing something good with your life and worth talking about.
And to be quite frank, this applies to family members and parents too. Growing up as a second generation Asian American, it was never easy because of the strong clash in culture. Especially being very outspoken and direct and type of person who isn’t afraid to speak up, whether I’m wrong or right. In the Asian culture, that is just so…weird? And kinda wrong? But growing up in America, especially on the East Coast, that’s just how I was built. So don’t be afraid to be your own person and own it.
As one of my favorite artists Kid Cudi says…in the end they’ll judge me anyway, so whatever.